Last night, my friend and I attempted to visit a haunted house outside of downtown Phoenix. We planned on seeing Zombies vs Robots in downtown Mesa, but sadly we missed it by one day. Needing to fill our urge to be scared out of our minds, we set out on a quest for haunted houses. Boy, did we fail.
The first place we attempted was Monstertown in Mesa. We were greeted by a crossbreed of zombie/leatherface carrying a hatchet who was surprisingly, pleasant. He greeted us, complimented my shirt and went off to scare someone else. The two bouncers tried to convince to go in, but the price (22 bucks?!) and the screams from inside kept us out of the house. Still, we wanted to be scared by something, so after checking for places on our phones, we headed out to Glendale where there was a free haunted house called Night of Impending Doom.
If we would have known that Night of Impending Doom would have been another impending failure, maybe we wouldn’t driven 30 minutes out of the way to find that the house would not be open until Oct 31. Fail. There’s always a catch when something is free. We finally decide to pull over, bust out our phones and really research some houses to make sure that (A) they were open and (B) they would be somewhere near our current location since we were now very far from Gilbert. Sadly, we discovered that most of the houses were in Mesa, which we just left, but we did find one in North Phoenix that was close by, cheap and was open. WIN! The name of this house was called Jack and Jill’s Haunted Hill.
We figured a place that was named after a children’s rhyme couldn’t be that scary and decided to go. After treking through a really sketchy part of Phoenix, we find the street that the house is located on and all we see is this:
Which causes us to do this:
Yeah, we chickened out big time. We took one look, rolled up the windows and sped away. We had good reason for doing this, the main reason being:
1) The entrance was pitch black.
You could not see anything. ANYTHING. There were no lights around the entrance, no cars, no people, no signs of life, nothing but darkness and that creepy sign. There was no way we were getting out of our cars in sketchy Phoenix and walking through darkness to find that house. I am pretty certain that this was all done for atmosphere and to make the place seem really dangerous. Well, congratulations guys, you succeeded.
My friend and I joked that if we were of a certain cultural background that we would abandon all logic and reasoning and take the trek to the house in the dark. There’s a joke that black people are usually the first to die in horror films, and since both of us are mixed with black, we figured our chances of survival were slim. And besides, if the entrance of the place was enough to scare us away, could you imagine the horror that we would encounter once we got to the house?
We ended up spending the rest of the night at Castles and Coasters , a far cry from our original haunted house plan, and we still had a blast. When we got home, we googled the haunted house, found a video and completely freaked out after watching 20 seconds of it. We definitely saved ourselves from sleeping with night-lights for the the next two weeks.
We may attempt to visit another haunted house if we can get more friends to go. But, I think that if I am unable to sleep without the lights on after watching/ playing 30 minutes of Resident Evil 4 (which is going back to the store tomorrow), there’s no way I will make it through walking through one of these things. As a kid, I could stomach these things but as an adult for some reason I can’t handle stuff like that anymore. We may try again, and if we fail, we always have Castles and Coasters to fall back on 🙂