I woke up pretty down this morning.
I dreamt of my mothers death. In the dream, I watched her wither away and die. In the dream she held my hand, told me she was going to a better place, and she was gone. I relived the same feelings I experienced the day of her passing: that feeling of despair, loss and helplessness that you get when you watch someone lose their battle with cancer. It was a terrible dream.
It’s been over two years, and I’m a lot better than when she first passed away, but for my mind to keep reliving her death is cruel. Why must it constantly replay that one painful moment, that moment I loathe the most? Why can’t it just forget?
I dream about her often, but dreams like this suck. It hurts.
And that’s all. I needed to write this down and get it out of me. Hopefully I can shake this nasty dream.