I feel like Job.
I admit this is my least favorite book in the Bible.
My summary of Job (if you want the real full length story, go here): He’s one of God’s favorites. His whole life is dedicated to the Lord. He serves the Lord willingly and happily. He’s been blessed with lots of abundance and God’s favor and he’s living the good life.
One day, Satan goes to God looking to start trouble, evil, etc.
God: “Have you seen my servant Job? He’s super dedicated to me and serves me with his whole heart.”
Devil: ” Whatever. I bet if I make his life a living hell and take everything he holds dear, he’ll curse your name and no longer serve you.”
God: “You don’t know my child very well. Do your worse, and Job will still serve and love me.”
Despite the happy ending, I still struggle with this book. The idea of God allowing the enemy to draw us closer to Him and prove our faith is hard for me to digest. I am not a fan of the refiners fire. I know there are benefits to it. But going through it, as I feel like I am now, is not fun.
Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and say,”Ya know what? I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I have reached the end of myself, and I just can’t move forward in this season any longer. I feel lost. I feel insane. New season. Now.”
When I’ve hit that point, God comes beside me, takes my hand and says, ” I am with you. Keep your eyes on me. I walk you through this. Just continue to trust me. I know it seems dark now and everything is falling apart…but I am still here. I know how your story ends. Stay with me.”
After a lot of crying, (some yelling) I get up, take a deep breath and keep moving. The devil still shouts his lies, throws his rocks and shoves obstacles in my road…but I keep moving.
I will not run away. I will not turn my back. I will remember my promises. I will keep moving.